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What I learned about women and relationships

Mastery of the interaction with women is not an easy task for any man. People say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus and indeed at times, it feels that we are entirely different species not able to find a common language.

Woman = emotions. Man = logic.

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Calling for woman’s logic is futile.

It’s like throwing peas to a wall. Everything will bounce back.

In most of the arguments, it is not personal, it is emotional.

She will stay argument-proof no matter what just because she feels this way at that particular moment.

Men think of women like they think of themselves.

And women think of men like they think of themselves.

And that is the reason why we can’t find a common language.

Woman’s mind is “circles”. Man’s mind is a “straight line”.

Men’s logic is deductive. Remember Sherlock Holmes? This is the way men think. Straight line. A so-called logical chain that I mentioned.

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Men argue with facts and women argue with conclusions.

(And this is why I am the one who cooks at home 😅).

Women are impulsive. Men are abstinent.

Women’s impulsiveness comes from their emotional reactivity to external stimuli.

Men are designed for survival. Women are designed to sustain Life.

Of course, we admit that a woman in a beautiful dress with a well-done makeup shines our day and gives us inspiration which is absolutely necessary and I am surely not saying that 100% of women are bad at managing personal finances. We, men, just have a hard time justifying the prioritization of women’s expenses.

Women like to talk about relationships. Men talk about ideas.

Men and women fail to find a common ground in their discussions. Men, at least the men I prefer to surround myself with, love to talk about ideas, they talk about concepts, what is done and what can be done in the world.

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do things together, create a common vision of the future and execute on it.

Then make these things the major topics for discussions.

Women don’t love superheroes. They love those who take care of them.

I used to think that women love hot guys or rich guys or both. Obviously, money and appearance are important but what I discovered is that in reality, the most important thing for a woman is to see that a man is taking care of her.

Woman’s attention is multi-spacial. Man’s attention is “tunneled”.

Men are hunters. Nature designed us in a way so that we can focus on one thing at a time. We have “tunnel” vision and “tunnel “ attention. If a woman needs to ask a question during the dinner she has to turn off that TV.

Women need attention. Men need space.

There is something that women need to understand about men.

If he doesn’t do “his thing” he stops being a man.

For a woman, on the contrary, the love/relationship/family is “that thing”.

Men are simple. Women are complex.

Men are simple. Seriously, you can make a man happy by doing three simple things: giving him time and space to deliver and monetize the value by doing what he loves, making sure that his stomach is full and balls are empty.

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Don’t argue with her.

Long story short. She will be mad. You will be forced to apologize.

When you fight never leave the fight unfinished.

Every time there is a fight there should be a peaceful resolution. The worst thing to do is to walk away from each other when you get mad spending your time alone with unresolved conflict in the heart.

Stop the war before it starts.

Take the “preemptive strike”. If you know that you made her mad and the explosion is seconds away. Don’t let her start boiling. Lift her up in the air and swing like a little girl. She will really feel like a little girl and won’t be able to help it but laugh. Shut her mouth with a kiss, not a counter-argument.

Keep the fire.

Make gifts. Even something small insignificant but unexpected. Keep her surprised. It can be a little thing worth 10$ but she will appreciate the fact that you thought of her. The surprise is the key.

Find a helper.

The primary role that a man should seek in a woman choosing a wife is a role of a “helper”.

Your woman should be by your side when you need her, she should instill the calmness in you that when you deploy for your Man’s mission your homefront is secure and kids are safe.

Sexual compatibility is critical.

If a woman and a man do not match in the bedroom this union is doomed. Find someone with similar tastes and appetites.

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If you know that the relationship has no future it’s time for a breakup.

Mature men never break up by walking away.

Women can do that. They can break up with you by disappearing and ignoring you. They think “he is not an idiot, he will get it”. And indeed you are not. If you experience this, let her go. It’s not a sustainable way of ending the relationship, but as men, we forgive them, just because they are women.

Redefine Love.

This is the excerpt from another essay but I think it is the reminder of it fits the context.

Final words

Knowledge of interpersonal psychology makes things more complicated but the application easier.

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