Friendship is one of the most beautiful things we are able to experience in life. At the end of our lives, many things we’ve done in our past will seem meaningless but friendships will still remain among things that unfailingly keep our hearts warm. Let’s take a moment to meditate about our friends.
For some reason, people often get puzzled when they are asked about elementary things in life. It becomes apparent that they never took their time to sit down and profoundly think about those things. They start to unfold long and eloquent explanations answering a rather simple question: “What is a ‘friend’?”
My definition of this word is very simple.
A friend is someone who takes care of you.
If I were to elaborate further on this definition explaining the meaning behind the words “taking care”:
A friend is a person who would always prioritize your resources over his.
Time, money, and comfort — are examples of such resources. A good friend is the one who effectively communicates the value of his own resources and puts thought into what your resources mean to you.
Derive crystal-clear definitions as they will serve as your system of coordinates in life. Your decision-making ability grows proportionate to the effectiveness of your terminology.
Real friends elevate you.
Choose friends with similar goals. Can’t find a squad? Found one. Your friendship relations are tools for self-development. Your friends should challenge you physically, psychologically, intellectually and spiritually. Use them to develop your leadership skills. Surround yourself with those who demand the most of the best side of you. Good friends make you feel that you have no other options but to step up your game. People say that you become an average of 5 closest people to you. If that’s true, be very selective.
“Keep company with those who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”
Do things together.
Best friends are those with whom you can accomplish challenging projects. Laughs and parties will fade but the work that you’ve done together creating value for others will stay forever as your sweetest memory. Help your friends to achieve their goals, cherish those who aid to achieve yours.
Be with those who can make you laugh.
A sense of humor forms early in childhood and remains unchangeable until the end of it. This is good news (though not for everyone).
Stick to those who became a source of your joy. Life is long and has its sad moments. This makes friends who can kill the blues even more precious.
You won’t have many friends. And that’s ok.
When we are young, we want to be friends with the whole world. We grow up and we realize that it is impossible. One reason why we break bonds is that we find less and less time to invest in our friendship, another is a steadily decreasing capacity of our soul to invest emotional energy into other people. It is not easy to walk with friends through life and nurture lifelong friendships so unfortunately there will not be many of those who you will be warmly calling ‘my people’. And that’s ok. Quality over quantity. That’s just the way life is.
Sometimes you need to let your friends go. And that’s ok.
Someone could be your friend for 12 years and one day you will look at his face and realize that things that you had in common had disappeared. It’s sad but it’s only natural. The reason why it happened is that all these 12 years you have been slowly maturing developing in different directions. We change and that’s the beauty of life. Embrace the change. Feel gratitude toward the person for being a part of your life and do what has to be done. Let go.
Cut the strings.
It is possible that some of the people you call “friends” drag you down. You can clearly see that spending time with them doesn’t get you closer to your vision and goals. Time-wasting with such “friends” may be relatively harmless but in the worst-case scenario their presence in your life is so toxic it makes you feel helpless. You need to start distancing yourself from these people slowly but steadily. If that is impossible, dissect out these relationships like a cancer tumor from your life. You will bleed but some things have to be done for the sake of your future self. You can always make new friends but you can’t make a new time. One day the relationships with old “friends” who sabotaged your success will seem like a bad dream.
If you want to avoid grievous farewells, surround yourself with people who made personal development their primary objective. The past will take those who lost the hunger. You will only be able to preserve a friendship with like-minded people — those who live by faith that never-ending growth is the ultimate virtue. Even if the circumstances of life have separated you and your lives diverged, you and your friend will always be on the same page as long as both of you keep moving forward. Share a beautiful journey. Make it something worth remembering.
Thank you for reading my book “Meditations of the Millennial”.
If you want to support me on my mission, please, share this book with someone you love. Maybe they will find what they seek on its pages.