Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Thái Huỳnh from Pexels

There is no such thing as a soulmate. There is no human being designed exclusively for you by some supreme power. There is no person whose name is written next to yours in the heavenly book of destiny. Sorry to disappoint. A person that would hit all check-boxes on whatever mental list you have simply doesn’t exist.

What does exist is real life, real human relationships, and a real probability of events. And the home truth of the latter is that even if there was a tiny possibility that there is that special someone with whom you could have a perfect psychological, cultural, intellectual, sexual, and spiritual match, chances that your paths will cross in one point of space and time are negligibly small.

It’s true. You can’t find a soulmate. But what you can do is to grow into being one. Soulmates are not a couple whose connectedness was secured in some divine way. Soulmates are two people whose souls were fused by their lifelong commitment. As they walk through life hand in hand, they learn how to serve each other selflessly conceiving many meanings of the word “sacrifice”. They evolve by sailing into uncharted waters together testing the limits of their patience and tolerance. They study every little peculiarity of each other’s personality until their communication starts to resemble telepathy. Soulmates are those who are disciplined enough to nurture deep mutual respect which is the only true foundation of the feeling people call “love”. Finding a soulmate is not coincidental. It is a result of the hard work of two people who discarded abandoning each other as an option.

Physical beauty fades away. It may be important for igniting an initial spark as that spark leads to the first encounter. However, in the course of lasting relationship physical beauty pales into insignificance. You won’t spend your life with an appearance, you will live with a soul.

The romanticization of relationships is absolutely natural in younger years and normally unsubstantiated conceptions about them disappear as a person matures through real dating experience. However, the minds of some people continue to wallow in illusive fantasies about a perfect someone and so these people wait for a miraculous meeting that is destined to change their life. They fail to realize something very important — finding a soulmate is not a process of standby but a reality to be experienced.

***

“In three months, my wife and I will celebrate 25 years since we first met. We were immediately attracted to each other. But our relationship took lots of work, on both our parts, and there were rough stretches, with counselors and workshops and many hurt feelings to sort out.
We weren’t soulmates at the outset. We weren’t twin flames.
We may have become soulmates over the years. We may have been sparks that, after careful tending, became a conjoined hearth.”
~ Andrew Weill, Quora

Thank you for reading my book “Meditations of the Millennial”.

If you want to support me on my mission, please, share this book with someone you love. Maybe they will find what they seek on its pages.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store